


safe in your arms

by MaddieandChimney



Series: Chimney Han Week 2020 [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Implied Domestic Violence, tw: panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25820860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: Chimney Han Week Day 1 - Panic Attack - Hurt/Comfort.They've barely known each other a few weeks but it somehow feels like a lifetime when his arms are wrapped around her, “You’re safe with me.”
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Series: Chimney Han Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1873474
Kudos: 13





	safe in your arms

The sound of smashing glass sounds through his apartment, loudly enough for Chimney to come running through from the bathroom towards the kitchen. Maddie stands there frozen, her chest rapidly rising and falling as she looks at the pieces of the plate she had presumably been trying to grab from the cupboard, surrounding her.

She finally reacts before he does, watching as she scrambles down onto the floor, the tears falling, “I-I’m sorry, I’m so—I’ll clean it up, I’ll—I’m so sorry.” Chimney takes a breath in an attempt to calm his own thoughts – he hasn’t known Maddie long, just a few weeks and this is only the second time she’s been in his apartment. Apart from a few awkward hand touches, goodbye hugs and the slow shifting of moving a little closer on the couch with every movie they watched together, they had barely touched.

But he can see the way her body is trembling, the tears that drip down onto the floor as her fingers scramble around for pieces of the plate that have shattered over his kitchen floor. And Chimney knows what a panic attack looks like, he’s calmed more than a few patients down in his time as a paramedic and more than that, he’s suffered through enough of his own to know exactly what she needs and what she’s feeling right then.

However, he also knows that there’s an underlying trauma that has resulted in this exact moment. His movements are slow, careful not to make any sudden movements when he slowly kneels down in front of her. Buck had told them of the reasons why Maddie had suddenly turned up in LA without any warning and he had seen the look in her eyes one too many times in the time he had gotten to know her. It was never something they discussed, he had a sense that she was still building up a level of trust in him he had to earn.

“Maddie…”

“I’m sorry, it slipped… it slipped out of my hands and I should have done better… I-I’m sorry.” Maddie isn’t in the room with him, which only serves to make his movements and his words even more wary. And in a way, he can understand on a level not many would, childhood memories of his father screaming at his mother when – in his eyes – she had let him down, she had _failed_ him in some way. Chimney can remember trying to help his crying, trembling mother as she tried to pick up broken shards of glass from their kitchen floor.

It takes everything with him not to clasp at her hands with every bit of strength he has when he sees the blood starting to stain the palms of her hand as her grip tightens. “Hey, Maddie.” He finds himself whispering, slowly moving his hands to rest on top of hers, “You’re okay, you’re okay, sweetheart.” It falls from his lips before he can stop it, the regret being pushed down when it seems to be enough to pull her from her thoughts. Her eyes meet his, for just a second, as he unclasps her fingers and takes each shard from her.

“I know you’re scared right now but I need you to look at me, okay? I need you to remember you’re in my apartment, we’re in my kitchen… it’s just the two of us, about to sit down for Chinese food and a movie, okay?” His voice is soothing, thumbs brushing along the back of her hand as he watches the way her bottom lip trembles. “We’re going to breathe together. In for four, hold for four and then out for four, you know the drill.” Chimney does his best to force a smile, “One, two, three, four…” Each word is slow, gently pulling her hand to rest on his chest as he takes a breath of his own, watching as she mouths each count with him until he doesn’t need to say it aloud anymore, just breathing with her.

Chimney hasn’t even met her husband but he hates him more than he ever thought it possible to hate a stranger. The fear is still so present in her eyes, her cheeks flushing when her breathing finally starts to calm and she realises exactly why they’re both sitting on the kitchen floor. He’s barely known her two weeks but he somehow feels as though he’s never known life in LA without her.

“Thank you.” He can feel a surge of pain running through him when she says two simple words, shaking his head quickly when he stands up and tenderly pulls her up with him. It hurts to know she’s thankful for his basic human decency, it hurts even more to know that someone had hurt her enough to make her feel as though she had to thank him.

The loss of her hands in his own forces him forward, still slow and still careful when he brushes her hair from her flushed face, biting down on his lip as he gulps down the lump in his throat. Chimney opens his mouth, about to ask if maybe, it would be okay to hold her, only for her to close the gap between them and wrap her arms tightly around his waist. “You’re okay.” He finds himself whispering, his lips pressing so easily against the top of her head when his own arms move to pull her impossibly closer. It’s not missed on him how right her body feels against his own, his hand rubbing circles on her back as her head rests on his chest. “I’ve got you, Maddie.”

“Safe?”

The whimper both causes a terrifying pain to pulsate through his body, right from the core as his heart clenches and his stomach tenses, whilst also causing a sense relief to wash through him. Relief because… she trusts him. And although he barely feels worthy of the level of trust, it still gives him hope. Hope for a future with the amazing woman who has given him a chance to get to know her in every way possible, even the most vulnerable.

It takes him a moment, gulping back his own tears, “You’re safe with me.”


End file.
